Too Long!

You'd think while being on bedrest for 4 or 5 weeks I'd have plenty of time to update my blog! But the truth is when you lay on a couch all day you start to loose interest in doing anything at all. First of all, Im not supposed to get up too much so when I think of something to do it usually requires getting up to get something. That added to the fact that I hate constantly asking people to do things for me. So I continue laying here wishing I had something to do. About a month ago I was put on bedrest because of contractions. After a week or two of calming the contractions the dr let me continue taking meds and get up half of the day to see what would happen. Of course I only made it 2 weeks or so before I ended up back in the hospital with contractions 2-3 mins apart! The biggest problem with all of this is that my uterus at 21 weeks is still far to small for the dr to monitor my contractions. Therefore, we cannot really tell how serious they are. All we know is that Im not dialating inside, but the outside has opened up. The baby is growing and getting stronger every day. Ive switched my medication and am back to strict bedrest all day and night. This will most likely continue until 37 weeks. For those of you calculating, that will put me to the week of Thanksgiving. Most havent even thought about Thanksgiving yet, but I will say Im counting down the days! At this point Im trying to take my meds as little as possible since Im still in the 2nd trimester and it could be dangerous for the baby. But being born at 22 weeks would be more than dangerous so that is why Im taking it at all! The first couple days I was going as long as 24 hrs but today Ive had to take it at 4 hr intervals. Which is the most I can take it. Im hoping this is just a bad day and everything slows down again tomorrow. This trial in our family has been difficult on all of us. Scott is swamped with work, Caleb hates strangers (which we need to help us), Bekah is 3 1/2 (which is hard enough without drama in the family), Ryan wants her Mommy all to herself without someone interupting us to help out, and myself who hates not being able to take care of my family! It is so hard when you see your family struggling and there is little you can do but find more people to help out which isnt really what they want. There are days I stay positive and think I can do this and then out of nowhere I loose hope and dont know how I will survive one more minute on this couch! (I know my life could be so much worse and that makes me feel more guilty!) More than anything I wish I knew someone who understood me. I will say my husband is a great listener, but I know he doesnt understand so I try not to make him suffer through my emotions. Each time I read my devotion Im amazed at how God uses it to lift me up. Today when I couldnt stop the tears I got on the computer to read my devotion about how God will give us every bit of strength we need through the hardest times to keep going (Wow) then I checked my facebook to find that someone offered to bring us dinner tonight. My spirits were lifted so much! God provided exactly the way we needed today. We had 2 different people helping play with the kids today but there was no way Scott was going to have time to cook dinner. So eventhough I feel like no one understands me right now I know that God does care and will provide. Maybe one day at a time but he will provide what we need. I honestly dont know how one can live in this world without God in their life! He is truly what keeps me going! I know God wants me to have peace and joy even doing nothing which is so hard for someone who loves to go all of the time! So all of this to say, if you have a moment pray for my family! We will be fine but a little extra strength for each of us would definitely be accepted!