Im at a loss!

So when I talk to all of these experienced Mothers out there I hang on to so much of what they say because I need all the help I can get. However, one thing Ive been told by so many of these Mothers is that rest time for non-nappers are essential for both me and my kiddos. So I had in my mind that it must work well then and I would get a full hour of me time. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! What a joke!! Rest time/nap time has become the absolute worst time of my day! I hate it and I dread it! First of all, 1pm is rest time/nap time. Caleb goes down for his second nap so it should work out perfectly. Right. Ryan goes to her room to rest and Bekah goes to her room to "nap." This should be awesome! Nope not at all! Ryan is so worried that I will forget that Calliou starts at 2pm and she will miss it therefore she asks every 10 min or less if rest time is over. Yes we have put a timer in her room and that did not help one bit! Bekah is only 2 and thinks she is as big as Ryan and wants no part of actually sleeping. If I do not sit by her bedroom door she Will Not stay in her bed no matter what the consequence. She will take herself potty a dozen times and never actually go, she will get clothes out of her drawer to change into a more comfortable pair of pants, and she will simply wander in circles around her room. If we do get her to actually sleep it isnt until 2:30pm. So if you want to see Jennifer in a really Bad mood then stop by around 1:30pm because usually by then Im fuming!! Scott and I have gone over thousands of ideas to fix our problem and have tried some only to conclude they didnt work either. We decided to not care if Bekah naps and just let her have rest time/room time like Ryan. Well by 4-5pm she is tired and sometimes falls asleep. That then makes it hard to get her to bed at night again. Which is a problem if she takes a nap at all really. We have had nights where Scott and I have gone to bed at our usual 10pm and she is still awake. One night Bekah was awake until 11:45pm!!! I was fuming again!! So this brought Scott and I to try only letting the girl nap for 30min-1 hour. Yah that was terrible too! This only made the girl whinny and grumpy. She took almost 2 hrs to really wake up and play well again. We are afraid if she quits taking naps which she obviously needs still that she will get sick more often and be a grouch! After 3 days in a row without a nap she is unbearable in the mornings let alone in the evenings! If she misses the nap we have to put her to bed by 7pm which will not be any fun come spring and summer. Scott will have barely been home from work which is not good for either of them. Scott does not like what this rest time/nap time does to me or the kids. It only makes us all miserable when we have been told it is supposed to be medicine for all of our souls. I dont know what Im going to do but I know I cant continue doing what we are doing much longer. I know one thing for sure...We need to do what works best for OUR family! That just may not be what everyone else does. Please let me know if you have an unconvential way of doing things that might just work for us!