A New Approach

We started another school year at the start of August.  I was ready to start back up after almost 3 full months off.  I could tell the girls also were ready for some structure.  After the first 2 1/2 very rough weeks I started researching other ways to do this thing.  I couldn't handle Ryan's tears much longer.  After reading a great Blog "Confessions of a Homeschooler" I made some changes.  Instead of plugging through our subjects throughout the day with some short and some long breaks I decided to fill those breaks with 15 min activities. It was hard to get them back to the school room.   I also decided that we would have a set school time each day.  Monday, Thurs, and Fri would be from 8:30am-12pm. Tues and Wed would be from 1-4:30pm. because of morning commitments those days.  This schedule would help prevent school on and off until dinner.  If we do not get through that days schedule we stop and do it the next day.  With our new schedule we may end up doing a longer school year, but I'm okay with that in order to keep some sanity!  Each day I wake the girls up at 7:30am they eat breakfast and then do their morning jobs.  On morning school days all 4 kids participate in Calendar Time, singing, and praying! By far the best thing I have implemented.  After that the girls go to their desk and find their schedule for the day.  After they complete each task they color in the rectangle so they see their progress.  They love seeing what activities are on their schedule that day.  Many times they work hard to get to something they really want to do.  This new approach has made school so much better in our house at least for this year (:  It is also easier to add Caleb into the mix now too. He likes being included in many of the activities and I can sneak a few learning pages in there too (:  Here is an example of Bekah's next schedule.

Monday	9/9/2013	Tuesday	9/10/2013	Wednesday	9/11/2013	Thursday	9/12/2013	Friday	9/13/2013
Bekah		Bekah		Bekah		Bekah		Bekah
Calendar Time		Calendar Time		Calendar Time		Spelling		Calendar Time
Writing		Social Studies		Cat in Hat Science		Art		Writing
Art		Social Studies Craft		Science Craft		Reading		Art
Reading		Spelling		Spelling		Snack		Reading
Shape Patterns		Snack		Snack		Phonics		Snack
Phonics		Phonics		Reading		Math Card Game		Phonics
Make a Puppet		Painting		Money Store (Dime)		Math		Banana Bread
Math		Reading		Math		Maze Book		Math
Letter Tiles Spelling		Math Balance & Dice		Noodle Craft		Bible		Noodle Craft
Spelling		Math		Phonics		Math Box		Spelling
Gym Time		Gym Time		Gym Time		Spanish		Gym Time
Bible		Bible		Bible				Bible
Do a Puzzle		Make a Butterfly		Letter B Dot Page				Letter B Page
Spanish		Writing		Spanis				States

A New Road!

I had written earlier describing a rough bout with Scott's business.  We had learned so much through that time already, but apparently that wasn't all that God had in store for us.  Like I said before my eyes were wide open trying to figure out the purpose in all of it.  I know that "All things work for the good of those who love Him" so I was searching.  I have really learned a lot about simplicity and have made many changes in the life of our family.  It is amazing how little you can live on financially when God is involved!  Anyway, back in February when Scott's client started making Scott miserable and refusing to pay he stated that maybe he should just close his business.  I couldn't believe he said that! I went off on him telling him how hard he had worked the last 5 years and he wasn't going to let one mean lady ruin his dream.  In March, the phone calls started coming in for work so he decided he would stick with it.  Then Scott got into an accident and totaled his work truck.  That hurt! We had to get a loan to buy another truck because what we got for the totaled truck wasn't enough to buy another one.  We just figured this is just another bad day lets keep going.  Scott was doing estimates all night and all weekend all spring.  He had so many estimates out that he didn't know how he would ever get all of the work done for people.  That didn't end up being the problem though.  By June, Scott still wasn't getting any jobs.  Everyone wanted him to do the work at a low price, but he couldn't work for free. No one wanted to pay for what they wanted.  Big dreamers! Since the beginning of 2013 we only made $3000 after paying employees and business expenses.  That isn't enough money to live on, but by God's grace we did! Because of this Scott made his comment again, "I think I should close the business." I was shocked again, but this time I didn't reject.  I just prayed and tried not to speak my opinion too soon.  Finally, once Scott was ready I told him how I would love to close the business, but I didn't want him to loose out on his dream.  The business has caused so much stress for both of us.  I'm always asking Scott when so and so is paying because we have this and that bill due.  Scott would literally work 24/7 and we never got time with him.  It was getting  hard on our marriage and hard for the kids.  When he wasn't on the job or doing paperwork he was sleeping because he was exhausted.  I didn't know how much longer he physically could work like this.  I also didn't know how much longer I could handle the stress either.  Not that I would ever leave him because of this, but I knew it was affecting all of us so much.  That day after our conversation his phone began to ring about job opportunities.  One was a company in Carmel as lead contractor, one was lead maintainance man in apartment complex in Center Grove, one was doing sub contracting for insurance company, and the last but not least was lead contractor for DuKate Fine Home Improvement.  We were astonished at how quickly everything happened considering closing his business wasn't anything we had truly considered doing before this.  For many reasons, we ruled out the first opportunities and chose DuKate.  We are nervous and excited for the new road we will be traveling.  We know without a doubt that God has been leading us to this point since January with the Room Addition. We pray that DuKate ends up being a long journey, but we trust that if not God knows what is next and we will cross that bridge when and if it comes.  Scott starts tomorrow June 18 at DuKate and we pray it is a good day for him. This will be the first time in our marriage that Scott will have a predictable income.  We are thrilled! The kids were so excited too when they found out that Daddy wouldn't be doing anymore paperwork!! Praising the Lord!!

My handsome guy!

Caleb is the little boy who walks in the room and every person tells you "Oh he is so cute!" Well of course he is! He looks like his Daddy!  No one can look at Caleb and his bright eyes and huge smile and not smile back.  It is so contagious! I love "my guy"!
I realized I had not updated you on his progress since September.  You wouldn't believe it but Caleb is speaking in full sentences!  We are praising God for putting the perfect therapists in Caleb's life  these last 2 years.  He has a robotic inflection (but inflection is what robots are missing right) to his voice. But honestly that is something else everyone loves about Caleb.  Even his robotic voice is improving some and I know will continue to do so over time.  After therapy 2 hours a week and me working with him at home Caleb has just recently hit his age level.  He no longer has a language disorder, but only an articulation disorder. He still struggles with backtracking and stuttering at times, but more often any more he is progressing. 
This week Caleb had tubes placed in his ears because of recurrent ear infections and also had adenoids removed for the second time because of regrowth.  So far he acts as though he had no surgery which is great! I know that day 3 is the hardest with Adenoids so we will see how is doing then.  But the tubes should really help with articulation errors because his ears were full of fluid making him fail his hearing test. 
3 weeks ago Caleb started Occupational therapy for sensory issues.  Caleb cannot get enough sensory in his day. There are days that we cannot get him off of us.  Although we love his affection there are times that it is not appropriate and can be smothering when he is on top of your head and rubbing your face and or picking your moles.  When he is having an episode it is nearly impossible to get him to stop without hurting his feelings.  Caleb cannot get close enough or deep enough into the snow or mud or water.  He cannot be thrown high enough and be squeezed hard enough.  There is never enough light in his room.  He can never push hard enough when coloring and doesn't enjoy coloring probably because he presses so hard.  He will not eat anything that requires a spoon! It is too much work.  He would rather not eat.  He cannot eat anything that is too chewy.  He loves tough meat, bubble gum, granola bars, and suckers.  He chews anything he can get into his mouth.  Straws, his shirt, toys, stuffed animals, and finger nails.  Those are a few reasons why he has started therapy.  We hope to make things easier when he is having an episode.  It is still too early to tell if it is helping but he does love his newest therapist. 
Caleb is over 3 1/2 now and all boy! His favorite thing to do is dig in the dirt to find bugs.  He loves slugs and worms.  Today he even held a cockroach at the Columbus children's museum.  Gross! He loves to have bugs crawl on him too.  Caleb loves to swing and swing and swing (part of his sensory).  He enjoys mud puddles, sand, and baseball.  Caleb played soccer for the first time this spring.  He didn't participate much but he followed the kids and smiled a whole lot.  His favorite show is Mighty Machines.  His favorite person is Daddy and Papa Moon.  He still loves to play trains and watch train movies.  His best friends are Ryan, Bekah, and Adelyn.  Caleb is such a great kid.  He is so easy going and rarely has a bad day.  A bad day just means he throws tantrums.  For a 3 year old that is amazing! He adjusts well to changes in plans and is happy as long as he is included.  I'm so proud of Caleb and all that he has accomplished the last 6-9 months in speech. The thing I love the most about Caleb are his hugs and his smile.  His future wife is truly lucky :) 

Simplicity

I feel like God has been trying to teach me something this year.  In January, Scott was finishing up a big room addition job and we were looking forward to the final paycheck.  Scott had done a great job estimating the job and we were going to make a little more than we were used to. Not because Scott was over charging her, but because he did a great job on the estimate.  But, in early January the customer started to complain.  She didn't think the added space was going to be enough for all of her stuff.  This lady seriously had too much!  I could tell you about that, but that is her business.  Instead of realizing she just had too much stuff she became resentful.  She started looking for things to be wrong and made up whatever she could.  She would spend the day yelling at Scott condemning his hard work.  She started calling past customers, other contractors associated with Scott, Menards, Angie's List, and anyone she could think of to tear Scott down.  Soon, Scott was demanding money for supplies (the third agreed installment for the job) and she began to put him off.  She made up many excuses for why she didn't have the money yet, until finally by the end of February she was refusing to pay him anything else at all. By March, the job was complete (according to the contract)and passed all inspections and if you ask anyone other than her Scott did a fantastic job.  At this point, Scott was owed $15,000.  If you know anything about having your own business you understand that there are bills to be paid especially for contractors.  We buy the supplies and we have to pay for them! We needed $6000 to finish paying for the supplies and other contractors involved.  The rest was Scott's pay for the 3 months of labor.  So, for 3 months we hadn't had any money brought home yet.  After several meetings with the woman Scott tried demanding the money, he tried making her feel bad, and he tried doing whatever she said to get the money.  As you can imagine it was exhausting for him.  She would say if you do "this" then I'll pay you and she would not pay and tell him again do "this" and you get the point.  He told her, "I have 4 kids, I have to buy them food and I have bills I need to pay." Her response, "That is your own problem."  Scott finally had his Dad come in as our accounting/billing guy.  After a 3 hour meeting and her yelling they were able to agree that she would pay the $15,000 and Scott would not add on the extras so he could get a check.  Well the next day she renigged, but she did give him $6000 the day before all of our supply bills were due.  After much more torture and too many details we never got the other $9000 she owed us. 

This was all so hard as a wife.  I love Scott more than anything and never did I want him to feel like he failed his family because he didn't.  He worked his tail end off for a horrible woman.  I don't believe that this woman ever planned to pay the full amount because of many other things I left out.  I wanted to knock on that woman's door and scream at her and then if that didn't work pound her face in (honestly). I'm not even a violent person.  I was also scared because I didn't know what we were supposed to do.   My husband worked for 3 months and didn't get paid a penny.  He worked long days and came home miserable.  Those were 3 months we could never get back.  I felt like I couldn't tell Scott when I was scared because that would make him feel worse than he already did. 

What did we do? Well we thought about taking her to court.  After a ton of prayer and Bible reading we truly felt like God did not want us to do that.  We contacted a lawyer even.  We felt God saying to us that it is His job to punish those that dishonor Him or us in anyway.  We have no rights to judge her or condemn her. We also knew that she had a lot of money and would fight us to the end for even a penny (other details I left out too).  We were already out of money so how would we ever come up with any to sue her?  We also felt like God wanted to teach us something through this.  I will be honest.  I told God I didn't want to learn this way.  Then I thought okay He will make it an easy way through for us so we will be fine. 

Work started to pick up for Scott and we thought hey we are almost through this catastrophe (even if our emergency fund is completely gone now) by April we will start seeing light. Then in Mid March Scott came home from work an hour after leaving to tell me he totaled his truck.  I thought he was joking at first.  He of course wasn't and the accident was his fault.  Yes we had insurance but the truck was only worth $4000.  Big trucks are more than $4000! We had no emergency fund left to help pay the rest we would need.  So now against all of our ideas of right living we had to get a loan to buy a truck.  A loan that we had no idea how we would pay off.  So much for getting out of the hole.  '

I started questioning God, asking Him what we did wrong.  Did we sin? Its not like I was feeling terrible for myself because I know it could be so so much worse.  I was just frustrated especially for my hard working husband.  At this time, I was in BSF studying Genesis and we were getting through Jacob.  I saw how hard Jacob's life was and I felt bad for the guy even though BSF acted as though he was a terrible man. He made so many stupid choices, but he was also terribly mistreated by his FIL Laban, his own father loved his brother more, and then his son Joseph was sold into slavery and he thought he was killed.  I found myself wondering why God allowed such a hard life for Jacob.  I believe Jacob loved God or else he wouldn't have cared about the promise and persue to follow it as Abraham and Isaac had.  But by the end of Genesis I saw the strong man of God Jacob became and remembered the weak man he was.  If God had not allowed all of those things in his life he would have never become the man God wanted him to be at his death.  I do not believe now that God was necessarily punishing Jacob all of the time, but rather changing Jacob making him more like Himself.  God does give consequences, but I learned something new.  God wanted to use the events this year to teach Scott and I something and to make us into the man and woman he wants us to be.  So, for that reason I'm okay with these trials.  I want to be more like Christ everyday so that someday I can stand before Him and get the reward He has promised me knowing I did my best. 

So what has God taught me? Well we are still struggling to make ends meet right now and work is slow which is very unusual this time of year. But, I will say we always have just enough at the exact time every bill!  At the end of BSF, I still didn't know what God wanted me to learn from this or how he wanted to change me.  But these last 2-3 weeks I have been feeling a lesson in simplicity being taught.  This is hard for me! I want to live differently than I did as a child.  We were poor and never had enough to do anything! I don't want that for my kids.  I want them to have enough clothes and enough snacks around the house and to go do fun things.  I have an awesome older brother who is living well with a huge house and huge business and beautiful new pool.  But, what I also want for my kids is to feel loved which is something I also never felt growing up.  When I had kids that is what I wanted more than anything, but then I started to loose focus.  I realized our kids were becoming like all the rest of America.  I was trying too hard to think of something fun to do. I started to think they liked going places to feel loved.  I honestly think that God has been trying to redirect me the way I was 2 kids ago.  Unfortunately, I was forced to live more simply by God taking away our income.  I truly feel like God is saying, "Stop! Slow down! Stay Home! Turn off your phone! Play with your kids! Less play dates talking to your friends!" So I'm trying a new way of life.  So far, the small changes have been rewarding.  Being less busy has also made me feel more patient. I've noticed my older 2 really connecting to me and a whole lot less issues with number 2.  I am still working at seeing what else God wants me to do to live a life of simplicity.  Each day I see something else. I have started waking up at 6:30am to be up first and read about how to be a better wife and each afternoon we have reestablished Quiet time in our home.  We now have time and we all love it.  I am not kidding!  The kids actually look forward to quiet time each day.  It is hard for me to slow down and be quiet.  This is just another step toward simplicity.  I am working on saying no. So if I say no please do not be offended.  I had the kids registered for swim lessons and asked for a refund.  We will be spending our summer swimming at the YMCA as a family and going to the library along with therapy for Addie and Caleb, but that is it.  I'm learning that just because society says children should do something, it doesn't mean mine need to.  My children are growing up so fast and right now all they want is Scott and I to love them by being with them. I never want my kids to grow up and not feel loved.  I know my parents did not intend for me to feel that way either, but made mistakes. My heart pounds with joy when I think of my children and I cant imagine my life without them.  I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness for each of them.  We can make so many memories from home and close to home that costs little to nothing.  We have tried to plan a summer vacation and then we tried to downsize to just Holiday World, but have realized that even that is not what God wants for our family.  God is changing my heart to long for simplicity and I pray that I listen and follow His leading.  If you have any other suggestions on how to live a life that is Full but simple I am all ears!
I did not write this to complain about our circumstances, but rather to help you understand how God has brought me to this point teaching me about simplicity.

Homeschooling

3 weeks ago we survived another year of homeschooling! After the first few months we got the hang of it.  This year was a bit more challenging with Ryan in 1st grade and Bekah in Kindergarten.  That meant we had to do school 5 days a week every week if Ryan was going to finish before summer.  We usually did it 5 days a week when she was in Kindergarten but it wasn't a big deal when we missed a day.  It was very easy to make up.  In first grade, there was also a lot more work to be done.  Anyway, after finding a good curriculum that Ryan liked she excelled! Don't tell her I told you this but I think she kind of liked doing school.  Ryan did a great job and finished in early May with 1st grade.  Her reading skills are amazing and her math is right on track.  Her favorite subjects are science and social studies. Her least favorite is math.  She is loving summer break and is in no hurry to start 2nd grade.  Bekah was only 4 1/2 in the fall but we felt she was ready to start kindergarten.  We were right!  Kindergarten was a breeze for Bekah.  Math, reading, and writing were all easy for her.  Bekah loves math and hates science and social studies.  2 very different girls! Bekah loves to do school and cant wait to start 1st grade.  She would start now if I let her.  If Bekah were not homeschooled there would be no way she could handle going to 1st grade bc of her maturity.  She definitely struggles in that area, but otherwise she does awesome. 
In the middle of the school year we put a school zone in our house!  What a blessing!  No more school at the kitchen table.  No more cleaning up at lunch and dinner everyday! Ryan Bekah and Caleb each have their own desk and chair.  Plus there are some drawers and shelving for our school stuff instead of it being in three different areas.  The school zone definitely made school so much easier for all of us. 
This summer we are taking a break but reviewing math and finishing up social studies 2 mornings a week.  Each night they are also spending time reading for library rewards and to keep up on their progress.  I'm so proud of my 2 girls and all of their hard work this year.  I look forward to starting 1st grade for Bekah and 2nd grade for Ryan in the fall.  The best part of homeschooling is seeing something "click" for the first time and knowing that Im the one who have helped them.  I love teaching and teaching my own children is such a privilege! I thank God for such a blessing! I cant imagine sending my kids off to school everyday!  I love having them home and spending everyday with them. 

4th child and still learning!

Where do I even begin!? I had a fourth child and homeschooled 2 kids this last school year and time flew by! So I guess we will start there-the fourth child.  Addie has definitely been the hardest child we have ever had.  We love her so much, but she has made things difficult.  Homeschooling a Kindergartner and a 1st grader was not easy while Addie screamed all day every day!  Im not exaggerating either.  Over time we figured out that Addie was allergic to dairy, soy, and strawberries.  She had sleep apnea, acid reflux, and aspirating while drinking. After fixing all of these issues Addie wouldn't eat anything or drink anything except through a bottle until a month ago and still threw massive screaming tantrums.  Needless to say it was exhausting.  At Adelyn's 15 month checkup we started the first steps process for feeding therapy and speech therapy.  Like Caleb Addie wasn't making any sounds other than screaming then.  At Adelyn's evaluation they quickly figured out through observation that Addie had a terrible aversion to being locked up or being tied down.  How come I never saw it!!?? So immediately we started making changes.  The first time we put Addie on the bench to eat at our table instead of her high chair the girl ate 3 chicken nuggets and green beans.  Since that day the girl has not stopped eating. We were so worried she had aversions bc of her aspirating, but it was just being strapped in.  Addie's feedings were so worrisome too bc she had not gained a single ounce in over 3 months.  But as you can imagine a 15 month old started feeling a whole lot better now that she was eating.  Her behavior improved greatly, but still not where we wanted her to be.  She started taking much better naps and sleeping all  night, but still a lot of tantrums.  Once the therapist came in at 16 months she immediately noticed the snotty nose and draining ears that had been a problem all winter no matter what we did.  But being an OT she said we were using the wrong kind of cup for an aspirating child.  She made us switch to a straw cup only and to watch closely that she didn't use siblings water bottles.  By the following week Addie's nose and ears cleared right up.  We thought that since she wasn't choking she wasn't aspirating anymore but apparently she was silently aspirating.  Anyway, this also stopped the screaming tantrums!  We figured out that when she would get ahold of siblings water bottles and drink the tantrums would happen.  Instead of crying she screamed and seemed angry and throwing herself and anything else she could find and then the nose would start running.  So when this was happening all day long she was getting extra fluid in her nose and ears.  Once again so simple! Why didn't I figure this out!??  Ok so at 18 months old Adelyn is the happiest easy going little girl!  We have now been able to put her back on dairy and soy and she has been doing great for 3 weeks.  We also put her in a toddler bed bc of the fear of being locked up and she wakes up so happy now because she used to wake up so crabby for over an hour everyday.  Those who hadn't seen Adelyn in a  few weeks have recently been making comments about how big she has gotten.  That makes this Mommy so happy!  My little girl is eating, sleeping, playing, and growing! Scott and I cant believe how different Addie is now, but we are enjoying it and beginning to relax so much.  I feel like I have spent so much time with the other kids lately too that I couldn't do before.  We are praising God for putting the right Doctors and therapists in Addie's life to help her feel better.

Here is a little about Addie at 18 months old in 2 days!
Starting to babble.
Only two words are Loo for Look and Ma for Mama
Sleeping in toddler bed
Cant scoop and pour enough whether it be water or sand
Loves Dora!
Goes to Bekah if she wants something
Understands everything we say
Loves to climb, wander, and swing
Soothes herself by sucking her left thumb while playing with her pony tail with her right hand
Loves her Mommy the most
Eating with spoon and fork
Loves Kix, Frosted Mini wheats, Pizza, Hot dogs, and Popsicles
Likes to pick out her own clothes.
Loves to go Bye Bye and hates to be left behind
Favorite song is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Insists on sitting on the potty and pushes and grunts (maybe she will potty train early!)
Loves to color.
Sticks her tongue out anytime we hold up a camera and say cheese!
Always wants her hair fixed and her teeth brushed
18 months going on 7 years old!

Thanking God for our sweet Adelyn Mae!!

Update on Caleb's evaluation

Well the school said Caleb only qualified for the 1/2 hour 1 time a week.  Said he scored in normal range for language.  He has no spontaneous language though and he only uses one word at a time when speaking.  No sign of apraxia eventhough he has been working with 2 different therapist who both definitely think he has it.  How can the school say that when apraxia cant be diagnosed until several months of interaction with him?  By the way the week he went to be evaluated he was having a good week not overgeneralizing sounds or using much of "mmm" and not strugging finding sounds and the week after he reverted back to all "mmm" again and couldnt seem to find any correct sounds.  Anyway, Scott and I dont believe the 1/2 hour a week will help enough to make it worth me taking him. We hated that program with Bekah bc her therapist only worked with her 15 min of the time with another girl and only did K and G the entire year until we quit bc she was doing so much better without their help.    Maybe St Francis can get him into 2 days a week and we can drop out of school program.  He definitely talks so much more the more therapy he has, but looses so much when a long break.  So Id like him somewhere 2 days a week that is beneficial!  I do understand that they simply went by the "test" which obviously didnt show his true struggles.  I know God has a reason and we just arent supposed to be in the weekly class setting for a reason. But I just wanted to stand up and defend my son when they said, oh he doesnt talk much bc he has 3 sisters who do it all for him." If they were with him long enough they would see that the little guy wants to talk so badly but cant for some reason!!  He tries so hard with his therapist and uses his eyes and "mmm" to tell stories.  Breaks my heart! But he is the most joyful little guy you'll ever meet.